parenting 101

today is sunday. church day.
i have heard more cursing today outside my window than i have heard in a looong time. sure, this is depressing, but what's more: the cussing is coming from kids. little ones. maybe 10 or 11 at most. at first, it made me really angry, but now i'm just at a loss. it made me wonder where everything goes wrong. what second was the parent not looking? when did they blink and miss their child going off in this direction? i mean, this is also supposing that the parents actually nurture their children. sure, mistakes are left to be made as always, but my brother and i turned out alright for the most part. maybe it's in our genes?

yesterday when i was working this mid-40s man came in wheeling around a stroller like a crazy person, entertaining the heck out of this little boy. (yesterday was the day for happy babies. we had at least 6 in there throughout my shift.) it was a grandfather with his grandson, just out and about for the day, gramma searching around good ol' AE for the deals. i talked with him about church and parenting and grandparenting, and he made me understand what it's like to be a parent, struggling to bring the kids up right.
then i think about my mom. having to support 2 kids all by herself, never getting to buy nice things for herself, struggling so hard to make it from paycheck to paycheck. how on earth did she do it? i think about myself now, and how i struggle just by my own little self! she had 2 children. wow.

then last night chris and i went to see BABY MAMA with tina fey and amy poehler. SOO funny, and again made me ponder parenthood.

i think i have it in me to be a terrific mother. but right now i'm fully aware that i'm completely unprepared and too selfish to be even considering the complexitites and wonder of children. sorry, mom. no grandkids from me for QUITE a while.