an empty canvas

i realize even though time continues to pass, my life really has not begun. i say this because, though a bit naive, it produces a much better feeling, a more hopeful feeling, than to think that this is the life i have chosen to begin living. filled with no excitement. this is not how i was born to be. sure, i may not be doing exactly what i wish i was doing, but i have always been known to have a life filled with excitement. now i occupy myself with boredom and basically shoot myself in the foot. i'm really not that unhappy; i'm just supremely restless. i've never really been in the same place for longer than a four year stretch and i'm going on...six years i think? it's no good. maybe i'll go teach english in india, or learn a different culture in africa. or reproduce a glorious english accent. who knows, who knows...i just have to continue to remember that as long as i keep moving, so will God.