insecurities...

i hate 'em.
i hate doubt and fear when they really have no motivation to be in a certain place.
what am i here for? to serve God only. no other gods before him. and yet every day, there is something new that i'm devoting my attention fully to. not God. but Chris, or wellsfargo, or my new shoes, or working out, or food. it's ridiculous! i hate being distracted from what truly counts.
and it doesn't really matter how much i talk about it, because nothing happens. i still go through the same motions every day, still frustrated at the end, wondering how i'm going to live my life like this.

and oklahoma. i'm so GLAD i'm going to oklahoma. i love new beginnings. they're scary, but SO exciting. i love starting over. lovelovelove. but i need to keep into perspective the reasons i'm going there. because if not, things are not going to be so enjoyable for me. and that's just not fair.

day by day, step by step.
God is good.
and He's always faithful. even when i'm not.