ahhh....

i'm so relaxed now.
and drinking a mountain dew. i'm telling you, i never wanted to drink it ever before (except at weird times when i'd get a dry patch that could only be quenched by the dew), never wanted to drink it before working with the wellsfargo girls. they're addicted.
tomorrow could possibly be my last day there. i'm putting in my 2-weeks notice, and they've been known to let people go on the spot. but hopefully, i can put in my 2-weeks and get paid and NOT work at the same time. wouldn't that be grand? but then amber says that there are security things they have to deal with so tomorrow's 3 hour day just may be my last with no more pay. but i really hope hope hope it works out in my favor. it's kind of surreal. it's been 2 months. only two months and already two months! that's the surrealism of it. there are more good things than bad things if tomorrow happened to be my workforce demise. worst thing: no more money-making, SOLID money-making, before taking off for OK. BUT good things: i can pack, i can relax, i can help chris with his exams, i can clean, i can focus on my in-shapeness, i could get my life in a little bit of order before everything goes crazy, and i can spend time with people like lynsi and my momma, daddy, maybe take a trip up to see my bro and then hit a stop at my grandparents' and aunt pam's. so, there's a part of me hoping for tomorrow as my last day...but of course i still want to make money.
but i miss the nights.
my best music making and thoughts come in the night and lately i've just not been making the time for it. and this is not good. like right now, it's 11:11 and even though i don't work until 11 tomorrow, i have the itch to go to bed. and i HATE that! i miss being a night owl! which makes me think if i have two part-time jobs, i would be happier. i just don't know. i don't know how to find what i'm passionate about and put it to practice. is it possible to have the day job and then perform at night? ooo, i hope.
because i was not born to be a bank teller. not at all.
oh johnny cash.
ok, i'm gonna go do ballet!