slightly annoyed...

people.
they're all alike.
even though they say they're different.
sure, physically, we're all different. but i'm the same as everyone else.
i get hurt. i break down. and i try to hide it. even though i want someone to care.
for someone to see before i even say anything.
because then it feels like somewhere, there's someone who gets me.
someone who will just let me cry, not needing to know answers.
but who will just comfort me...

i feel like it just doesn't matter.
i try too hard, and it fails.
and then i don't try too hard, and i fail as a friend.
and then i just try...and it's not good enough.
i'm just tired.
how do you love a person who refuses to give you another chance?
or how does one mend a broken friendship, if every time you try to work on it, that person reminds you of all the crap you've done...or in this case, haven't done?

and there's nowhere to turn because i really don't care if anyone knows.
i've come to a point where i feel like it would be better to just leave it all alone
and to be swallowed up into some void.
but don't ask. because i won't tell you that.
i want to be fine, and so i think if i just keep pretending,
then all of these pretenses will become a reality for me.
and i'll drown myself in my work, and in my music.

pathetic, right?
but i'm just like everyone else.
with all these raw emotions that i can't control.
with a million thoughts running through my head,
and i just have no answers.
but i'll keep trying.
sometime i'm bound to get it right.