my final post.

you know how you can read things you've written in times past and just feel completely ridiculous about yourself? that's me right now.
i will keep this blog open only so that i may view it from time to time to measure growth. another chapter done.

choo choo...

so i'm sitting at my mother's house in cleveland, on her computadora. it's ten-of-the-clock, and there is a silence. the parents have gone to bed. i walk outside and look up to see the most beautiful vision of stars, a celestial body that is meant only for the country. i look across to see the mountains' silhouette outlined by the shining moon. though there are many perks to daylight, there is a peace and quiet of the night that cannot be matched.
can you even imagine the beauty of God? of heaven? when you see these gorgeous views? we drove through pigeon forge and the smokey mountains and the majesty of these formations left me speechless. they're beautiful and rolling and breath-taking.

tomorrow we shall go to downtown chattanooga. there was a very cute shop i stopped in on monday; however, all the shops close at five, so i didn't get a chance to spend too much time down there. sooo...tomorrow we shall go again. and i may later drive over to helen, georgia where i hear there is more beautiful landscape!

this journey has been a long time coming...feels so good.

God is moving...

so, i was driving home tonight on seemingly danger-less roads. key word being "seemingly". as i was driving home a little under the speed limit, the control of my car was taken from me and given completely to a monstrous snow drift, and far be it from me to do something only half-way. my little Kia did a 540 (an entire revolution + half a second one) and threw me quickly and gracefully into the ditch. THANK, THANK, THANK GOD no one was behind me, because it could have been much, much worse. Amazingly enough, nothing broke (on me or my car). however, i was in somewhat of a predicament, seeing as that the only visibility i had out of my left-side window was surrounded in snow. yes, i had hit so hard that i had basically buried myself in the snow. what was completely unlike me was that i didn't panic. i just kind of felt like, 'well, darn it.' and pulled out my driver's manual and coupon for a free tow. as i was getting ready to call the number, a man stopped and asked if i had anyone coming for me, and when i said 'no' he said he was going to pull me out, because it was too cold for 'a little lady' to be waiting on someone. and within half an hour, he had dug me out, pulled me up onto the road, and helped me get facing the right direction. and then i drove under 40 the rest of the way home.

when i am still, God is moving. when i am quiet, God is speaking. when i am scared, God is loving me. when i doubt, God is constant. when i fear, God protects me. i am unbelievably blessed to know these things.

jackary linus clouse von pfeffer

it does not matter what is going on in my head or my heart. jack is always there as a comfort and a source of joy and entertainment. he never lets me down. God bless Jack. (my black lab)

love is loaded

today has been a day of discovery.
i'll try to write later about this, because right now i'm just too exhausted from it all...

happy new year!

well, another year has come and gone.
and i didn't really need to set a lot of "new year resolutions" because i've been working on them for the past three months. that's encouraging. :-)

slow & steady wins the race.

sometimes i forget

there was a whispering in my ear today. in the midst of a lot of occupational turmoil, i was told there would be clear skies tonight. i thought i would go for a walk and try to remember to look up at the stars.

and i did.

i got home, and though it was chilly, i took the time to just bask in the glory. troubles vanished, thoughts dissipated, and it was just me and God and all his magnificent creation. and i worshiped.

sometimes i forget that though i breathe day in and day out (praise God), i am not in control. this breath that i breathe is a present. what happens if i don't wake up tomorrow? what if this is my very last night? why kill myself with the problems i can't change? why worry myself to death when the very thing that i can do most and best is to pray? God will guide me through the darkness. "yea, even though i walk through the valley of the shadow of death, i fear no evil, for Thou art with me."

jealousy/anger/fear has a way of creeping up on me and swallowing every good thought. instead of being overjoyed that a person may have found love, these thieves will turn the feelings of happiness into cynicism and nagging questions of "when will it be MY turn? why doesn't he love ME? cry cry cry, sniffle sniffle sniffle." and i'm just tired of being like that. where's my heart? and when did it get so far off track?

life could be so much worse. i need to be thankful for the things i am fortunate enough to have, take the bad with the good, and not get caught up in all the extra junk that ultimately has no effect on my life.

*sigh* sweet dreams.