6.22.2008

looking out on the morning rain...

it's a sunday. early. it's 5:01 am. my sleeping pattern is officially set to being very late. if that even makes any sense. probably not.
but i'm listening to aretha and she just always makes me happy.
lack of sleep can make you really crazy. emotionally, physically, spellingly.
i act before i think, and i type before i think. basically everything happens before i think. like right now, everything i'm typing is mumbo-jumbo. it is unneeded blather.

i'm being transferred to jefferson pointe. this is a prayer answered at just the right time. yes, God knows how to work his magic charm. :-)
it'll be sad to leave, but my store manager barb has already been transferred so, besides all the associates, there's really no reason to stay, you know?

and there's only one month left on our lease. it's crazy to think of what one year has done for me. hopefully more good than bad but i haven't really assessed everything.

i hate being bored. so you would think i would just go to bed instead of staying up in my restless misery. bleh. but here i am...

6.03.2008

"dooooo you love me...as i love you..."

i'm listening to "in the still of the night" from DELOVELY as the rain patters consistently upon my window.

"in the still of the night as i gaze from my window at the moon in its flight my thoughts all stray to you.
in the still of the night all the world is in slumber...all the times without number darling when i say to you:
do you love me as i love you?
are you my life, to be my dream come true?
or will this dream of mine fade out of sight like the moon growing dim on the rim of the hill in the chill still of the night?"

i have these thoughts a lot.
i was listening to this program on NPR about how when you love someone close to you (nonromantically), if you're doing your job they end up not needing to lean on you but learning to lean on themselves. this probably should be comforting, but i think since i suffer from codependency, it's like experiencing an identity crisis.

yeah.

i need to work on this...